Category Archives: couples

Just Get married…STOP making Excuses

I absolutely love seeing men step up to the plate and BE MEN! In this generation where marriage seems to be unorthodox…It’s time to kill that noise. And LIFT UP A STANDARD..



To put it another way, she upgraded me.

journalist T.J. Holmes penned a beautiful essay for The Root explaining why he married his wife, Marilee Fiebig. He begins the essay by discussing how great his life was prior to marrying Marilee, but concludes by sharing how much better his life has been because of that decision. An excerpt from his essay reads:

“Not only is my marriage still intact, it’s actually working pretty well, and that made me uncomfortable. You see, I didn’t fully understand why my marriage was flourishing, and I feared that if I didn’t understand what we were doing right, how would we know what to keep doing?

Well, I think I’ve figured it out, and my eureka moment came just this week as I was putting together a business email. I asked my wife to review it, and she thought the tone of the email was too aggressive, confrontational and negative. She was right. Her input stopped me from making the mistake of hitting send. That innocuous example is emblematic of our entire relationship. In all I do, I have a partner looking out for me, advising me, keeping me on track and stopping me from making a mistake, no matter how great or small.

Also, I’m still the same guy at my core, but look at what has changed in my life since I got married: My family and I are closer, my individual net worth has gone up every year since we met, I’ve learned a second language, I’m healthier, I use the n-word less, I listen to Sunday church service more, I’m a better friend, I’m more forgiving than I used to be, I’m more involved in charitable work.

In every way, I’m better off because I’m married. So, for me, a successful marriage has revolved around this principle: I like who I am with her.”

My pastor always reminds me: You should get around people who make you say to yourself, “I gotta do better.” I married the person who makes me say that to myself every day. I want her to be proud of me. Her presence is constant motivation. I don’t always succeed, but I’m always at least trying to do the right thing or improve, and in doing so, I’ve become a better son, friend, journalist, citizen and husband.

I, like many other men, thought that I wanted to reach a certain level of success before marriage. You know, make the right amount of money, get the right job, the right car, the right crib, etc., and perhaps “sow the royal oats.” Now, I firmly believe the success we seek can come a lot quicker with a partner helping along the way. Believe me, my ego is as big as anyone’s, but recognizing my own deficiencies, admitting to myself that I need help and accepting that help have all been critical to our success. We’re only on year No. 4, but I shudder to think of the kind of man I might be if I wasn’t married these past four years.”

michael-ealy marries Khatira Rafiqzada

Actor Michael Ealy reveals that although he didn’t marry what he would consider “his type,” jumping the broom was a well thought out mature decision after four years in a relationship with his girlfriend Khatira Rafiqzada.

For Michael, he realized that it wasn’t about trying to live up to the romance in the movies. He found a woman he wanted to spend his life with and wifed her up.

On why he decided to get married
Well, you know me, and you know that I am an extremely private person. But what I can say is that I’m not a young cat anymore. I’ve gone through my share of relationships […]. I can relate to Danny in [About Last Night], because I was him. So when I watched the film I was so happy that I had matured beyond that point in my life.

Don’t get me wrong; marriage opens up an entirely different can of worms as it pertains to your evolution as a man. I’ve found that for me, the timing of it was right … that’s all that I can really say. And that’s a personal decision that was not made in haste, because we were together for four years. But when you find someone — and that’s something that is very hard to do … but when you find someone that you actually want to spend the rest of your life with, you have to go for it. I was just very lucky that the stars lined up for me.

On his advice to men who are apprehensive about taking the next step
While, I don’t consider myself a person that should write a book, or give advice on relationships, what I will share is my personal perspective. What helped me along the way was I had two personal friends of mine whose fiancés died. And I went through a personal struggle where my father got really sick, and I spent a week with him … and it just dawned on me that we don’t have as much time as we think. And when you’re done playing games, and you find someone who has qualities that are much more practical as opposed to romanticized ideals, then you’ve got to hold on to them.

People think that you’re supposed to marry your type … well, I didn’t marry my type. It’s much more practical, and based in a day-to-day existence. So when you have that, and you’re happy, and you love her, don’t waste time. Because time — and I’ve learned that at this point in my life — time is my most precious commodity. Nothing is more precious than time. Because when it runs out … that’s it.


Which brings me to the next topic…Living Together before Marriage

My opionon: If you are going to  sign “BOTH” names on the lease…why not just get married.  You are doing everything BUT so why not…



 “As a man, this is that day where you throw your player card away and step up and be a family man.  She deserves it.  It’s been a long run, it’s been 7 years.  We’ve been off, we’ve been on, we’ve been arguing, fought, good times and bad.  And at the end of the day, as a man, this is something that I owed to her and I owe to my family.  It’s time.” – Game

His girlfriend of 7 years Tiffany looked so shocked saying

she’s like a deer in headlights and thought she was getting set-up to get fired


5 Questions: Monica on Love & Marriage

Monica Brown does an interview with about her “New Life” with Laker Shannon Brown

ESSENCE.COM: We can just see the sparks fly between you and Shannon. How do you two keep things passionate?
That’s so easy for us, I don’t know where to start. The best lingerie I have, Vanessa Bryant gave it to me. She is the biggest fan of La Perla and she goes into those stores a lot. Every time I would open one of her gifts, Shannon was like “yeah” and he’d start clapping for that gift. Sometimes he likes when I’m just in his t-shirt or his jersey.

I think the foundation in our marriage is strong and we don’t want to leave room for anything to tear up the foundation or create cracks in the wall.



Smitten From the Start

Monica says she and Shannon fell in love instantly and after the video shoot (where they met) wrapped, they embarked on one great date that never ended



The truth needs no support. I love my husband and he loves me and I think if you sit back and you watch and you pay attention you’ll see it yourself.


Monica and Shannon Brown surprised fans in November 2010 when they announced that they’d married in a small justice of the peace ceremony with just one witness. Love just could not wait.


Love All Over Me

R&B diva Monica met future hubby Shannon, 2006 first round NBA draft pick and current Lakers player Shannon Brown, on the set of her “Love All Over Me” music video. Who could have known the casting could be so spot on.


My husband is my part of my greatest joys, so it doesnt feel like work or like I’m balancing anything. My husband and my kids absolutely come first.

Check out ESSENCE for the rest of the article..




“Four years ago, I was just a guy who had a crush on a girl, who had a boyfriend. And I had to do the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to do, which was just to… wait…And, a lot of people told me I was crazy to wait this long for a date with a girl I work with but I think, even then I knew that… I was waiting for my wife.” -Jim Halpert

10 ways to pray for your husband

PRAYER is a neccesity for marriage! Thought this was so cute and will continue to apply prayer daily in my marriage!


The bride (and groom) wore white: The couple both dressed in Badgley Mischka for their 1997 nuptials. Jada was two months pregnant with Jaden at the time


In Touch Weekly is reporting that Will Smith and Jada Pinkett are separating. Their reps have not confirmed the story.

(When contacted about the story by TMZ, Pinkett’s rep said, “What? In Touch said that? I know nothing about this… Lord. I’m going back to bed.”)

The pair, who met when Pinkett auditioned for “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air,” married on December 31st, 1997. They have two children together, budding pop stars Jaden and Willow, and Pinkett is the step mother of Smith’s older son from a previous marriage, Trey.

Speaking to YourTango in 2007, Pinkett described how they first got together.

“After we had known each other for many years, we went out for dinner one night with mutual friends and I saw that he had grown from this lanky kid to this really responsible man,” she said. “We started courting each other and our friendship turned into romance.”

In 2008, Smith spoke with Ellen Degeneres about their marriage, which he implied would last forever.

“What I found is divorce just can’t be an option,” he said. “It’s really that simple. And I think that’s the problem with L.A. – there are so many options. So a huge part of the success for [Jada] and I is that we just removed the other options.”

Whether it was cause or effect is uncertain, but that dedication certainly coincided with an active sex life, including a romp on the way to the Oscars in 2010.

Speaking to Uptown Magazine in June, Pinkett said, “People think that Will and I don’t spend a lot of time together. Too much time, actually, if you ask me. It’s always nice to have a little time apart. Sometimes you need that.”


First wife: Will with Sheree Zampino, whom he divorced in 1995 after three years together

First wife: Will with Sheree Zampino, whom he divorced in 1995 after three years together. They have a son, Trey, together

Nick Lachey Wedding Moments with Vanessa and Jessica

Found this cute video called “Nick Lachey’s Wedding Moments-Jessica and Vanessa”

Uploaded by on Aug 3, 2011

Special moments from Nick Lachey’s weddings to first wife Jessica Simpson, her age 22 and him age 28 (2002) and second wife Vanessa Minnillo, her age 30 and him age 37 (2011).

Videos used:

“Jessica Simpson & Nick Lachey – The Wedding [HD]”
“Nick Lachey & Jessica Simpson – I Do: Achieving Your Dream Wedding – Video Footage [HD]”
“Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica – Chicken of the Sea (1 of 2) [HD]”
“Nick & Vanessa’s Dream Wedding [Part 8 – HD]”