Tag Archives: NECOLE BITCHIE

Just Get married…STOP making Excuses

I absolutely love seeing men step up to the plate and BE MEN! In this generation where marriage seems to be unorthodox…It’s time to kill that noise. And LIFT UP A STANDARD..

MARRIAGE IS BEAUTIFUL!  MARRIAGE IS HEALTHY! MARRIAGE IS GOD 🙂

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To put it another way, she upgraded me.

journalist T.J. Holmes penned a beautiful essay for The Root explaining why he married his wife, Marilee Fiebig. He begins the essay by discussing how great his life was prior to marrying Marilee, but concludes by sharing how much better his life has been because of that decision. An excerpt from his essay reads:

“Not only is my marriage still intact, it’s actually working pretty well, and that made me uncomfortable. You see, I didn’t fully understand why my marriage was flourishing, and I feared that if I didn’t understand what we were doing right, how would we know what to keep doing?

Well, I think I’ve figured it out, and my eureka moment came just this week as I was putting together a business email. I asked my wife to review it, and she thought the tone of the email was too aggressive, confrontational and negative. She was right. Her input stopped me from making the mistake of hitting send. That innocuous example is emblematic of our entire relationship. In all I do, I have a partner looking out for me, advising me, keeping me on track and stopping me from making a mistake, no matter how great or small.

Also, I’m still the same guy at my core, but look at what has changed in my life since I got married: My family and I are closer, my individual net worth has gone up every year since we met, I’ve learned a second language, I’m healthier, I use the n-word less, I listen to Sunday church service more, I’m a better friend, I’m more forgiving than I used to be, I’m more involved in charitable work.

In every way, I’m better off because I’m married. So, for me, a successful marriage has revolved around this principle: I like who I am with her.”

My pastor always reminds me: You should get around people who make you say to yourself, “I gotta do better.” I married the person who makes me say that to myself every day. I want her to be proud of me. Her presence is constant motivation. I don’t always succeed, but I’m always at least trying to do the right thing or improve, and in doing so, I’ve become a better son, friend, journalist, citizen and husband.

I, like many other men, thought that I wanted to reach a certain level of success before marriage. You know, make the right amount of money, get the right job, the right car, the right crib, etc., and perhaps “sow the royal oats.” Now, I firmly believe the success we seek can come a lot quicker with a partner helping along the way. Believe me, my ego is as big as anyone’s, but recognizing my own deficiencies, admitting to myself that I need help and accepting that help have all been critical to our success. We’re only on year No. 4, but I shudder to think of the kind of man I might be if I wasn’t married these past four years.”

michael-ealy marries Khatira Rafiqzada

Actor Michael Ealy reveals that although he didn’t marry what he would consider “his type,” jumping the broom was a well thought out mature decision after four years in a relationship with his girlfriend Khatira Rafiqzada.

For Michael, he realized that it wasn’t about trying to live up to the romance in the movies. He found a woman he wanted to spend his life with and wifed her up.

On why he decided to get married
Well, you know me, and you know that I am an extremely private person. But what I can say is that I’m not a young cat anymore. I’ve gone through my share of relationships […]. I can relate to Danny in [About Last Night], because I was him. So when I watched the film I was so happy that I had matured beyond that point in my life.

Don’t get me wrong; marriage opens up an entirely different can of worms as it pertains to your evolution as a man. I’ve found that for me, the timing of it was right … that’s all that I can really say. And that’s a personal decision that was not made in haste, because we were together for four years. But when you find someone — and that’s something that is very hard to do … but when you find someone that you actually want to spend the rest of your life with, you have to go for it. I was just very lucky that the stars lined up for me.

On his advice to men who are apprehensive about taking the next step
While, I don’t consider myself a person that should write a book, or give advice on relationships, what I will share is my personal perspective. What helped me along the way was I had two personal friends of mine whose fiancés died. And I went through a personal struggle where my father got really sick, and I spent a week with him … and it just dawned on me that we don’t have as much time as we think. And when you’re done playing games, and you find someone who has qualities that are much more practical as opposed to romanticized ideals, then you’ve got to hold on to them.

People think that you’re supposed to marry your type … well, I didn’t marry my type. It’s much more practical, and based in a day-to-day existence. So when you have that, and you’re happy, and you love her, don’t waste time. Because time — and I’ve learned that at this point in my life — time is my most precious commodity. Nothing is more precious than time. Because when it runs out … that’s it.

 

Which brings me to the next topic…Living Together before Marriage

My opionon: If you are going to  sign “BOTH” names on the lease…why not just get married.  You are doing everything BUT so why not…

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Wendy Williams talks Beyonce’ supposed “FAKE BUMP”

All this talk about Beyonce’ faking her pregnancy is the topic these days…I must admit I was a bit skeptical when beyonce’ revealed her pregnancy at the MTV music awards..Im like why all of sudden is she being so open. After all she was so close lipped about her relationship with Jay-Z, and when they got married (Which still to this day there are no pictures anyway) so why the  need to be so public now.

she said:

“There were so many rumors about me being pregnant every three months for the past couple of years — I thought the best way and classiest way was to just show”

 Wendy Williams decided to do a little investigating of her own for her show in a segment that she called ‘Beyoncé, Pregnancé, Conspiracé’. She carefully analyzed photos of Beyonce, reviewed the controversial tape of her folding baby bump, and brought out two of her staffers that were pregnant to do a chair test to see if the ‘baby bump fold’ was even possible.

“Now being a woman, I had my baby bump. Many of you have had baby bumps. I never remember [squatting]. Just take a look at the video. She’s either giving birth to a frisbee, or Stewie from family guy. What is that, B? I was on bed rest the whole time, I’m not exactly sure. But I can tell you, when I would get out of the bed and sit up at a kitchen table, I wouldn’t be able to sit like that. Like, I was so concerned about my back and the baby. Even at 5 months I sat like [stands up and leans back into the chair] this.

 Five reasons (conspiracies) why beyonce’ may be lying about the bump:

1) The baby is helping Beyonce’s sagging recording career. It is sagging. I mean the statistics show, but you forget all about that because you’re so focused on, ‘Oh, Beyonce’s pregnant!’

2) Beyonce’s pregnancy is a way of keeping Jay-Z’s alleged mistress away. This is what I love about this show. You can’t see everything that I can see, but people are snapping their necks in nod-ation. How ’bout this one…

3) The alleged woman over in allegedly Trinidad with the alleged 10-year-old alleged son allegedly by Jay-Z, Beyonce’s trying to keep up with her. Allegedly. And how ’bout this…

4) This is the most disgusting one. Beyonce’s going to use a surrogate so she can maintain her body. I don’t believe that one.

5) Well, here’s one that’s even more disgusting than that. They’re adopting, but they’re going to play it off like they gave birth.

You remember I was the first one to say this: it’s going to be an at home, water birth in the master bathroom, there are gonna be three people there: Beyonce, Jay-Z, and their mother Miss Tina. Watch. There will be none of those nurses. There won’t any of those witnesses at the nurses station or anything like that. Beyonce, c’mon you’re not like that are you? *heavy sigh* You know how some of these celebrities can be though. Anything for attention. Anything for attention. “

Moving along … so naturally after hearing Wendy’s reasons I wanted to learn a little more about Jay-Z’s alleged mistress (Not the one in Trinidad with the son). I found what appears to be a super disturbing gossip article suggesting that he had some chick named Cathy White on the side and that right after Beyonce’s pregnancy was announced, Ms. White died. It was also suggested that Beyonce knew about homegirl for a while, and acted like a true “baby-mova” on her several times.
 
Things that make you take a second look! 

THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE ‘OPRAH’

WORDS FROM OPRAH’S LAST SHOW..SHE DEFINITELY USED THE PLATFORM ‘GOD’ GAVE HER TO SHARE SOME INSPIRATIONAL WORDS…THE WORLD WAS HER STAGE AND SHE USED IT.

On Learning What Love Is
“I am truly amazed that I, who started out in rural Mississippi in 1954 when the vision for a black girl was limited to being either a maid or a teacher in a segregated school, could end up here. It is no coincidence that a lonely little girl who felt not a lot of love, even though my parents and grandparents did the best they could, it is no coincidence that I grew up to feel the genuine kindness, affection, trust and validation from millions of you all over the world. From you whose names I will never know, I learned what love is. You and this show have been the great love of my life.”

On Being Worthy
“…We often block our own blessings because we don’t feel inherently good enough or smart enough or pretty enough or worthy enough. You’re worthy because you are born and because you are here. Your being here, your being alive makes worthiness your birthright. You alone are enough.”

On Embracing Life
Start embracing the life that is calling you and use your life to serve the world.”

On Being Responsibly for Your Life
“Nobody but you is responsible for your life. It doesn’t matter what your mama did; it doesn’t matter what your daddy didn’t do. You are responsible for your life. … You are responsible for the energy that you create for yourself, and you’re responsible for the energy that you bring to others.’Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space.’”

On Everyone Having a Calling
We are all called. Everybody has a calling, and your real job in life is to figure out what that is and get about the business of doing it. It lights you up and it lets you know that you are exactly where you’re supposed to be, doing exactly what you’re supposed to be doing. I want for all of you […] to live from the heart of yourself. You have to make a living; I understand that. But you also have to know what sparks the light in you so that you, in your own way, can illuminate the world.”

On Never Feeling Superior to Anyone
I learned from the guests on this show, no need to feel superior to anybody. Because whether it’s heroin addiction or gambling addiction or shopping addiction or food addiction, work addiction, the root is all the same. The show has taught me there is a common thread that runs through all of our pain and all of our suffering, and that is unworthiness. Not feeling worthy enough to own the life you were created for. Even people who believe they deserve to be happy and have nice things often don’t feel worthy once they have them.

On Listening to God
“The only time I’ve ever made mistakes is when I didn’t listen. So what I know is, God is love and God is life, and your life is always speaking to you. First in whispers. … It’s subtle, those whispers. And if you don’t pay attention to the whispers, it gets louder and louder. What I’ve gleaned from this show: Whispers are always messages, and if you don’t hear the message, the message turns into a problem. And if you don’t handle the problem, the problem turns into a crisis. And if you don’t handle the crisis, disaster. Your life is speaking to you. What is it saying?”

On Being Rejected
“When we went national, I remember at the time, Roger King told me that one station manager said that he’d rather put a potato in a chair in his market than have a big black girl with a funny name. And in spite of that, from Memphis to Macon, from Pittsburgh to Pensacola, from New York to New Orleans, you all let me in.”

Read more: 8 Messages We Loved From Oprah Winfrey’s Final Show | Necole Bitchie.com